There is a lot of talk out there about Female Ejaculation also known as “Squirting”. Some people are still saying this doesn’t happen or it is just urine. Facts are, this is not made up, it does happen and I’m not peeing on you!
I remember the first time it happened for me, and yes I thought the very same thing, “OMG I just peed all over his couch!!” And that very moment caused some trauma in my body and mind-set -that I wasn’t even aware could happen- to where it didn’t happen again for about five years. When it did happen again it was something I understood a bit more and I then worked with my body to fully come to enjoy every minute of it!
A lot of women and some male partners are looking for answers to this crazy thing called “Squirting”, so that’s what I am going to give you today, some answers. Answers that, I myself did not have and wish I had during that time of my life!
- What is it?
- Where does it come from?
- Can I do it?
- How do I do this?
- And some added extras that have helped me on my ejaculation journey!
Our bodies are an intricate system of nerve pathways and tissues that we are only beginning to become fully aware of how they work together into our fulfillment of pleasure. I am going to help you become more familiar with how all of this works and how it can become part of your pleasurable experiences.
To start, this is nothing new but it is still so very exciting, because some of us are just starting to understand that this is very real, normal and is something that can be very pleasurable! We can see “squirting” in many art mediums like this lithograph printed in Viena in 1910 by Peter Fendi—The Fountain Where this woman’s Amrita is fully gushing out onto her partner’s penis and body and they are both enjoying every bit of it.
So what is Amrita? Amrita: an ancient Sanskrit word meaning the elixir of immortality or the nectar of life, also known as female ejaculation. Sanskrit is one of the oldest Indo-European languages for which substantial written documentation exists. So this is yet another timeline for which we can see “squirting porn” didn’t just come up with this idea!
So what is it made of if it’s not pee? Female ejaculate is a clear to clouded watery fluid, mostly non smelling to a faint musky scent. The scent can vary woman to woman depending on where she is in her fertility cycle and just like everyone’s regular body scents vary from person to person. The liquid is comprised of prostatic fluid, glucose and trace amounts of urea. Urea is also found in pee, but is not a main component, as it is mostly water but the rest of the contents of urine can vary depending of what you’ve been drinking, eating, breathing or have been exposed to. The rest of urine usually consists of urea, uric acid, ammonia, hormones, dead blood cells, proteins, salts and minerals, and toxins .
Where does this fluid come from? To answer this in the best explanation and most a complete way, I feel comes from Sheri Winston, “The erectile tissue of the urethral sponge is composed of capillaries, which are blood vessels whose wall is only one cell thick. The paraurethral glands are composed of a multitude of networks of tiny tubules like the hair roots on a plant, which are enmeshed in the urethral erectile tissue. The wall of these microtubules is also one cell thick. What this means is that the watery part of our blood, called serum, can easily diffuse across the capillary membrane and enter the tubules of the gland. There, it mixes with the glands’ secretions and become Amrita.
When squirting time arrives, the ejaculate is emitted through the thirty tiny openings that connect the gland to the urethral canal, as well as through the two larger openings near the exit of the urethra. The fluid then flows down the urethra and emerges in varying amounts from the urethral opening ” (Winston)
Yes, she said erectile tissue. Most everyone, due to the lack of real education of our own bodies anatomy, we only think that men have erectile tissue. Nope not so, us women have just as much as the men, the tissue is identical but how it is laid out is very different. My female network of erectile tissue is made up of interconnected but separate construction of the clitoris, vestibular
bulbs and two sponges. Each of these are separate, but linked together and designed to work in collaboration. Which means when one of these areas is stimulated and it become engorged with blood (just like a penis) the other areas get excited and respond too. Amazing huh!
There is a so-called “spot” that really isn’t a spot at all. You may know this as a “dime-sized” spot as the “G-Spot”, named after Dr.
Grafenberg, who supposedly discovered it and is very incorrect in many ways. (I prefer to call mine my “goddess waters area” or “goddess sponge”, as I feel this is more accurate than calling it a spot and all women are goddesses.) It’s more of an area, about two to three inches long when aroused, this is what’s called the urethral sponge. This cylinder sponge is what surrounds your urethral tube, it is the area that has the gland ducts and tubules that house the Amrita prior to its release. When that area is stimulated and aroused or a woman’s body understands how to release it without being stimulated you get the trickle, squirt or gush which can vary from day-to-day.
Squirting can happen in conjunction with and without having an orgasm.(Just like men can develop with their orgasms too!) I personally have had it happen; while having an orgasm and not having an orgasm, with stimulation and without stimulation. It’s a true process -when I look back at my progression- it has changed over the course of me understanding my own body. Comprehending what was going on when it happens and knowing what is feels like was a big part of the process.
Something else I have found with myself, I actually have to use more supplemental lube during intercourse as the liquid from the ejaculate is different from my vaginal lubrication and when I have a lot of fluid coming out it washes away some of my natural lubrication. I highly recommend Sliquid, a company where women’s bodies come first, using only non-toxic ingredients and sugar free.
The goddess sponge (urethral sponge) when aroused and swells up actually acts as a health helper! It is quite amazing as one of its functions is to protect the urethra from getting hurt, it acts as a cushion from the irritation and hard pressure that can occur from intercourse. Inflamed tissue is more susceptible to infection. It also narrows the urethral opening reducing the possibility of any minute bacteria that can back flow in the urethral tube. So it’s healthy for you to ejaculate, as it helps keep that area clear. Have you heard, “You SHOULD pee after sex?” So essentially, this also clears this area and any ejaculate that wasn’t expelled during will release when you do go to the bathroom.
Can I do it? Every woman has the capacity to ejaculate because every woman has the anatomy to do so. As you can see arousal is an important part of this. Also, something you may not have thought of is: your hydration, emotional state, trust, comfort and relaxation. If you are “squirting” you are already a “squirter”. Your body knows how to ejaculate. If you have done it once and you know what it feels like in your body when it happens, then you will be able to do it again and again.
I want your process to begin in locating your goddess sponge area on your body and really know what it feels like. With lubricated fingers, I suggest two, as it feels less “pokey” and you will be able to use each finger in locating both sides of your urethral sponge. (I will explain exactly how to do this down below) There will be a big difference between locating it when you are unaroused verse being fully aroused -as this is erectile tissue- you are giving your sponge time to become engorged with blood and become erect! It will feel better and you will be able to find it much easier. If you start this when the tissue is not erect, you will be pushing against your unaroused sponge and therefore directly against your urethral tube and this may not feel good, may even hurt. If you want to feel all of the stages your goddess sponge goes through, I say yes, go for it, just be very gentle with pressure until you are fully aroused. When you become fully aroused and this tissue is fully erect, that’s when all the magic happens and you will say “Yes that’s it!”
How do I ejaculate?
1. Assuming you are fully aroused (when it will feel the best), this goddess area is located toward the top “the roof” of your vagina. Insert two of your fingers and curl them up and reach in toward the roof. You will feel different textures while inside, some areas feel smooth and slick and others are more ribbed or rougher. Mid line up you will be able to feel a more ridged area in length, and indented “ditch” lines that run along each side of it.
Once you have found this, you have found your “goddess area”, your urethral sponge!
2. Slowly start adding more pressure with a come hither motion, back and forth or circular motion that starts small and gets larger, also run each of your fingers down each side in the “ditches” depending on what feels the best to you. There will be a point when -as it’s feeling so very good- you feel as if there is a little bit of pressure in that over all area building and all of a sudden it almost feels like you need to pee. Relax, you don’t need to pee, keep enjoying the feeling and start to bear down, exerting downward pressure pushing out with your pussy. At this point your goddess liquid may decide to trickle, squirt or gush out.
Ahhhhhh YES…. If this happens, you have done it, I am so excited for you! I recommend using a mirror and really exploring your vagina when it happens, the connection of feeling and seeing really helped me through the entire process. It can have any or all of these feelings, I have heard women say it is for them; cleansing, nourishing, arousing, exhilarating & releasing. What is it for you?
Once you have accomplished this one time, keep practicing. Incorporate a partner at some point so they too can enjoy exploring and being able to help you do this in a new world of bliss!
Once I was doing this on a regular basis -I was like- How do I keep my mattress from getting wet and ruined? Yes, it was harder to keep everything dry and your mattress from getting ruined. In the beginning I would forget to use towels. After changing multiple pairs of sheets in a week I soon learned, I would always have to lay two or more down, mindfully knowing the bed was going to have a little trickle to a fully soaked area! If it was a full on gusher type of day, the mattress would get wet and stained even with the towels. So I recommend to fully protect a mattress use a cover that is rubber, it’s 100% waterproof and machine washable. The best thing so far I have come across for total protection for this. You can even use other lubes and oils to play with on it, it can be your very own sexy slip and slide in the bedroom 😉
Along your very own ejaculation journey you will find what works and doesn’t work for you. I do hope you enjoy this process and exploring your body. Remember ladies you’re a goddess, so let your inner goddess out…
*Winston, Sheri. Women’s Anatomy of Arousal. Kingston, NY: Mango Garden Press, 2010. Print. The Inner Sanctums (link to amazon)
* All pictures taken from: Women’s Anatomy of Arousal