Let's Talk About Sex

If you follow us on Instagram, read this blog, come to our events, or keep up with Pure Orgasmic Love in general, then you’ve probably noticed that sexuality is a large part of our lives. We live and breathe sex and for some people, especially those living all over the world, this can seem overwhelming or a bit scary. Pure Orgasmic Love, though, is all about the sex-positive movement, and we think it’s incredibly important to make sexuality a commonplace topic. We want you to talk about it over dinner, late at night, just as you’re eating breakfast, even with your friends! We’d love to see a world where talking about sex is as normalized as talking about the weather. 

What’s does sex-positive mean, though? Well the internet defines it as, “an attitude towards human sexuality that regards all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable, encouraging sexual pleasure and experimentation.” Sex is fun and all, but you may be asking, “Is sex really that important?” We think it is! 

Being sex-positive encourages many wonderful things. We live in a world where sex can be shamed, especially for women and non-monogamist. Anyone that doesn’t abide by traditional thoughts on sexuality, like the one where it’s only between a man and woman that are married (and only missionary), can be labeled as immoral. We think this is far from the truth. Working and living in a world that talks about sex frequently means that we will also talk about consent frequently. It’s proven that sex driven communities like Kink and swinging are more inclined to be safer and more communicative than those outside of these communities. The more we talk about sex, the better we become at offering safe and loving environments where people can express their intimacy. If anything, sex positivity makes us better people. We listen better and understand boundaries better. 

Sex positivity also encourages us to talk to our partners about sex. When we embrace sexuality we can openly express what we like and do not like in terms of intimacy. When we start talking about our likes and dislikes, you’ll be surprised at how this allows others to do the same. Just give it a try! Be more open with your partner or partners and watch how they begin to be more open with you. Sex is great but good sex is even better, and good sex comes from understanding our own wants and needs and the wants and needs of others. 

The sex-positive movement also encourages us to look at what we personally enjoy through self pleasure. When we do this,  the shame of self pleasure is removed and we are able to explore our own bodies freely.  Exploring our bodies will also improve our body image and self worth. Loving our bodies physically also help us love it emotionally. When we take the time to embrace all parts of our physicality through self love and pleasure, we begin to be more confident in our skin. Confidence is a light. When we are happy with ourselves and our bodies we shine. That shine illuminates others and causes them to do the same. Sex positivity is body positivity and these things are as contagious as a smile. 

I mean, let’s face it, sex is really a part of nature. Every animal eats, sleeps, and procreates. It’s a process that is needed to carry on the human race. We are inclined to enjoy it because if we were still primitive, we wouldn’t have any drive to make babies. We like sex because it’s nature’s way of telling us we need to keep moving humanity further.  Denying that sexuality is a part of our lives is comparative to denying that we are human. Spending our entire lives ignoring such a natural part of ourselves will only create resentment and unhappiness. Feeling shame for wanting sex is almost silly. We wouldn’t feel shame for wanting to eat or sleep!

Sex positivity also feeds the world’s happiness! Talking about sex creates better sex education which in turn decreases disease, rape, and unwanted pregnancies. When we talk about sex we are able to make informed decisions on our lives. We can choose to participate in sex. We can choose how we want the outcome of sex to be. We can be safe with our own bodies and, therefore, safe with others. Just think of how much better of a world it would be if we were never taught to hate our bodies or shamed into silence when discussing what we want sexually. We’d be better communicators and happier people, that’s for sure! 

Us ladies especially benefit from the sex positive community. Most women, at one point in their lives, have been shamed for being sexually active or not active at all. We’ve been called a prude or a slut. These words are not only meant to be hurtful, they are an attempt to disempower women. When we put shame around female sexuality, it can cause some women to not experience orgasmic pleasures from fear of being ostracized. It’s not just about the way we view female sexuality, though, it’s also about creating safer environments for women. One in three women will experience sexual abuse in their lifetime. The sex-positive community encourages education, especially education about consent. Helping others understand consent is a positive way we can assist in lowering these numbers. If we empower women in the bedroom, we also empower them outside of the bedroom. We believe everyone is of worth and are impactful beings. Embracing female sexuality moves us closer to equality, and that’s a world we want to live in. 

The sex-positive movement isn’t about lots of sex, although lots of sex is okay. The sex-positive movement is about manifesting healthy sexual relationships in our lives. The sex-positive movement is also about consent and empowerment. It’s about education and love. We want you to love your bodies. We want you to safely love other people’s bodies. It’s about time we stop denying nature and start embracing the power and beauty within healthy, positive sexual relationships.