Relationship Goals in 2017
As the holiday season winds down and we say goodby to a year that will be hard for most of us to forget, it is time to look ahead to 2017. If you are like most people we know you are probably thinking about goals and perhaps even some resolutions. We know for most the world resolutions brings up thoughts of gym memberships and diet plans, that is not what we are going to talk about today.
We would like to consider your relationships and in this case your more intimate relationships, whatever those look like to you, and make goals to improve them this year.
Just like setting health and fitness goals it is best if your goals are realistic, you have a plan, and a timeline. We all have relationship dreams that are not achievable right now due to life restraints, we would love to spend half our time on a beach somewhere tropical but that isn’t gonna happen this year. A plan is necessary so you know you are on track, it can always change if needed but without it you won’t have a direction. Time is the number one reason people use for not doing something, so make sure your time allotted for this is reasonable or it will never happen. Some things can be done in minutes a day, you just have to commit to them.
The first step is probably the hardest. Take an honest look at your relationships and really feel into them, then decide what you have the power to improve. Remember you can’t make resolutions for others only yourself, so what do you want to work on? Are you looking for better communication, more connection, a bit more romance, hotter sex or even maybe kinkier sex? Here are some categories we personally enjoy and some simple ways to work on them that have enhanced our relationship.
- Ask how was your day? Then take 5-10 minutes to just listen and hear how your partners day has been.
- Practice Active listening. I am here with you, acknowledge what they are saying. (Put your phone down and really focus on them)
- Set aside an amount of time to spend (screen free) to just lay in bed cuddling.
- Find an activity outside the house that’s enjoyable for both of you on a regular basis. We find that moving your body with each other builds your connection, like walking, biking or dancing.
- Send a good morning text or a picture you know your partner would enjoy.
- Give a small heart-felt non-expensive gift for no reason other than you love them.
- While you are away from your partner(s) let them know some naughty things you’ve been thinking about doing with them or have them do to you. Do this through out the day to build anticipation.
- Ask your partner(s) to perform a specific something for your primary pleasure, for a set amount of time. Allow yourself to fully embody your pleasure making it reach new levels of heat.
- Order a new sex toy together that you have never experienced before, a bit on the edgy side for you to explore.
- Look for an actual kink/BDSM event to inspire and learn from. If you have questions or perhaps you aren’t sure what you are into, an event can be a great way to meet people who can answer your questions and they can expose you to a variety of experiences.
Remember, that like a change you make in life there will be obstacles and mess ups. When this happens it is very important to handle yourself with care. If you forget something that you were going to do please be kind to yourself and avoid negative self talk. If you beat yourself up you are less likely to continue the change. Accept that you messed up and either do it now if you can or set a reminder for when you can. We all carry electronics, that can remind us of what we want to do and when so use them. It is not any less romantic to set a reminder to text your lover, this helps build the habit. It’s the action that counts!
Please use this lists as a starting point and really think about what you want to improve with your lover(s) this year. The possibilities are endless so free your heart and mind and explore. Make it a goal, make a plan, and then make it happen. A little bit of effort towards your goals will go along way, be kind and loving to yourself and that will flourish into a blossom of amazing love, relationships and sex with your love(s) throughout 2017!