It is that time of the year when we are looking at ourselves and our lives and thinking about what we want to do in the new year. Maybe we put on a few pounds over the holidays or we haven’t been saving money like we had wanted. Perhaps you have been thinking about your relationships.

Whatever it is there is something about the beginning of a new year that makes us reflect on our lives and plan for the future. So what do you change and how do you change it? Those are some serious questions. If it was easy to change our habits we would all have six pack abs and be driving luxury cars. We get comfortable in our habits even if they are not ideal, and change is uncomfortable. It is easier to sit on the couch than to exercise or to buy things you don’t need instead of saving money and living on a budget. However if we want our lives to be different from what they are right now then you have to do something different and maybe get a little uncomfortable.

So how do you make goals and accomplish them. There is an incredible amount of information about goal setting out there and many different methods, however there are a few things you can do that will greatly increase your chances of following through. First is to come up with goals that are achievable. This sounds fairly obvious but how many times have you made a plan that you knew deep down wasn’t possible. “I’m gonna start running tomorrow and do a marathon next month!” Your goal should also be measurable and able to be broken down into smaller goals. Accomplishing these smaller steps will keep you motivated for your larger goal.

When we think about resolutions most of us first think of our physical appearance. We resolve to lose weight and hit the gym. This sounds great but is it effective. Most reports say that gym memberships spike by over 50% in the first week of the year but of those new patrons 80% will stop going by the second week of February. So most people who resolve to hit the gym get about 5 to six weeks in and give up. Why? There is probably a few reasons for this. One is that  “Hitting the Gym” or “getting in shape” are not really goals, that are to abstract. With goals you want to be specific so you know if you are on track. I would like to lose 10 pounds or I would like to decrease my BMI by 5% are real measurable goals. Another big factor is that most people see working out as a chore and don’t enjoy it, and lets face it we all look for excuses to get out of chores. A much more effective approach is to find a physical activity you enjoy. If you would rather ride a bike than run on a treadmill then ride the bike. Maybe you would rather play pick up basketball than lift weights, that’s fine. If you get into a sport or hobby that takes exertion then over time you will start to do other healthy activities in order to support your hobby. You may be more likely eat healthy if you know it will help your game.

Although our physical bodies are our most common area of focus we feel that there are other areas you may want to consider when making resolutions. We have all heard that the mind is a terrible thing to waste and we agree. Our brains are critical to all that we do so we should probably spend some time improving them. If you think of the mind as a muscle then we need to exercise it or it becomes slow and flaccid. The good news is that exercising your brain is easier than hitting the gym. One of the best things you can do for improved cognitive ability is to read on a regular basis. All of the people you think of as mental giants all read regularly. By reading you strengthen the neural pathways in your brain, which in turn allows you to think faster and more concisely. The material you read is almost irrelevant, so read what you enjoy whether that’s romance novels or text books. Other ways to stimulate your brain are video games. No not all video games are effective so don’t use us as an excuse to have a fallout 4 marathon. There are games and apps that are specifically designed to stimulate different parts of the brain so find one you think is fun and spend a little time everyday training you brain.

Spirituality is an interesting part of human culture. It has been around for a very long time in different forms, and has incorporated itself into many aspects of life. This could mean a religion or a self practice, either way it can be an effective way to keep perspective on life. One resolution you may want to consider is to set aside some time everyday to focus on your spirit. This could mean meditation or prayer or any other form of spirituality that helps to center you. If you are a part of a spiritual group such as a prayer circle or organized religion then be active in the group. Sometimes being around others can really help to bring up your energy. Another option is to volunteer within your community. Studies have shown that people who volunteer to help others regularly are often happier and handle daily stress more easily.

So we covered body, mind, and spirit so let’s get into things more in our wheelhouse, relationships and sex. Making a resolution for your relationship or the bedroom may seem odd but if they are a part of your daily life then they deserve to get reflected on and improved as well. If you have a significant other than chances are there are things you can do to improve your relationship. These must be conscious and specific, just like work out goals. Spend more time with your partner is not a goal, date night every other Friday is. One of the things we have found in our relationship is that the small everyday things are more important than the big stuff. For instance a cruise is fun but it means less in the long run than a daily good morning text. We don’t always get up at the same time so SwampApe always makes sure that when Dragonfly wakes up she has a good morning text and usually a picture of pretty flowers or a sunrise. This small gesture only takes a few seconds but it lets her know that she is loved and being thought of. Your resolutions don’t need to be big, focus on the small stuff and it will make a huge difference.

Finally lets talk dirty. Sex is a large part of many of our lives, yet we don’t spend much time thinking about getting better. Sex is something we almost all think about on a regular basis and still we find ourselves in a rut and board. Perhaps this is an area we should evaluate and make some resolutions to improve. If you don’t use toys, try one. If you only use a few positions maybe try some new ones. Only have sex at night in bed, have a quickie on the couch in the afternoon. Ask your partner(s) if there is anything they want to try or explore and do that. Perhaps you could read some books or find other educational material that could give you some ideas. You could always contact us and we would be happy brainstorm some fun ideas to try, dragonfly Resolving to be more playful and exploratory in the bedroom can lead to much more enjoyment for all involved.

When thinking about your past year and making resolutions for this year remember to not only focus on your body but on all aspects of your life. Remember that your goals need to be specific and measurable or they are just wishes, and they don’t need to be huge. Small changes produce huge results over time.


Dragonfly Love